Alias premiered last night. If they seriously killed Vaughn off the show I will never watch that show again. Ever! I'm so mad. Althouh if he does die he will be the first person to actually stay dead on that show. Oh well, on to real life news. My friend Stephie is staying with me this weekend, so for once I will not be bored out of my mind on the weekend. Very exciting. I might actually get out of this horribly boring town too. My sister even has the day off tomorrow night. That's a first, so I might actually see her for more than five minutes. What a good weekend! So as I was typing this little post there was a knock at my door. To my complete surprise my friend Leanne was at my door! She came all the way from Florida. Needless to say I was completely shocked. This is now 5 1/2 hours later, but I just thought I would finally finish this. I'm finally going to have something to do. Celebrate good times!

Weekend report: I have done absolutely nothing of significance. I'm so bored. In these times of such boredom I begin to contemplate the little things in life that make me happy. So I figured I could share some of these things with you.

Funny Quotes:
"I hate it when people say somebody has a "speech impediment" even if he does, because it could hurt his feelings. So instead, I call it a "speech improvement", and I go up to the guy and say, "Hey, Bob, I like your speech improvement." I think this makes him feel better."

"If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine."

"When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me."

"If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, "Well, technically that's illegal." It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party."

Those were all deep thoughts from Jack Handy. I love that stuff. It doesn't make sense!

Ode To My Sunglasses

Oh my big sunglasses, you were fantastic
you covered my eyes with pieces of plastic

The pressure of your job was too much to take
and you let the sun's gazing fire cause you to break

Oh my big sunglasses you will greatly be missed
I have to buy a new pair, so now I'm just pissed

Rachel's Sunglasses
RIP
May 2005 - September 2005

That is right folks, my sunglasses broke yesterday. The funny thing about it is how they broke. I didn't drop them or sit on them or anything like that. I was just wearing them when suddenly a screw popped out, one of the frames snapped in half and a lens fell out. I wasn't even moving. Apparantly I didn't get the memo that told me my sunglasses would self destruct four months after purchased. Oh well, such is life. I'm in a bad mood today so I'm going to go sit around and be cranky and snap at anyone who attempts to talk to me. That should cheer me up.

"Humidity's rising
Barometer's getting low
According to all sources
The street's the place to go

'Cos tonight for the first time
At just about half past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men

It's raining men
Hallelujah it's raining men, Amen
It's raining men
Hallelujah it's raining men, Amen

It's raining men
Hallelujah it's raining men, Amen
I'm gonna go out
I'm gonna let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet

It's raining men
Hallelujah it's raining men
Every specimen
Tall blond dark and mean
Rough and tough and strong and lean

God bless Mother Nature
She's a single woman too
She took on a heaven
And she did what she had to do
She taught every angel
To rearrange the sky
So that each and every woman
Could find her perfect guy

It's raining men
Go get yourself wet girl
I know you want to

I feel stormy weather moving in
About to begin
Hear the thunder
Don't you lose your head
Rip off the roof and stay in bed

It's raining men Hallelujah
It's raining men, Amen
It's raining men Hallelujah
It's raining men, Amen"

What beautiful words of wisdom. Rip off the roof and stay in bed ladies! That's my advice for you this weekend.

Save The Last Dance was on t.v. last night, so of course I had to watch it. I love that movie. It makes me think about when I went to see it in theaters with Allison on her 19th birthday (Yikes! that was so long ago), and the lady sitting next to me talked on her cell phone for almost the whole movie. I'll never forget it because it was when I almost committed my first murder. As loud as she could speak she was like "Hey! Where you at? I'm at the movies." (waiting for response) "Save the last dance." (apparantly the person was deaf and could not hear here) "I said.....(even louder) Save the Last Dance!" Who does that? Come on! But I digress, as I really wanted to talk about how much I love the movie. It always makes me want to get up and dance. It also makes me wish I was a good dancer, but I don't think having exactly one dance move qualifies me as a good dancer. But I make my one dance move work by making slight alterations. Sometimes my hands are over my head, sometimes they're by my side. I'm so good! In other news, out of completely nowhere I got a bloody nose tonight. It was gushing so bad I thought someone had run up and punched me in the face and ran away without me noticing. There was so much blood all over my face and body it was so gross. My friend Lauren wanted me run out and find a group of people and yell "I'm Hemorrhaging!", then fall over and pretend to pass out. She figured there was so much blood it would freak people out pretty good. She is just that twisted. Unfortunately I thought I really was dying so I couldn't make much light of the situation. Her joke did keep me from completely freaking out though, so that's good. I do not handle blood well. That's pretty much all I have to say about my day. I'm probably going to go to bed now because it's almost midnight and usually I've been in bed for two hours by now. I'm such a grandma! I'll probably knit me a pillow case really quickly before I go to sleep. Then maybe I'll knit me up a little sweater vest to wear tomorrow. Sweater vests are still in, right?

Here's what I don't like about this town. There is nothing to do here except sit around and get fat. Seriously, I get so bored here that I just sit around and eat out of boredom just to pass time. Which is fun, because it has become my life's greatest hope to become a big fat tub of goo. Hopefully soon I will become so large that I will no longer be able to walk, but instead have to fall over on my side and have oompa loompas roll me around from place to place. I have been getting some exercise in, however. I have been spending a lot of my free time playing DDR with some of my buddies here. That's dance dance revolution for those of you who aren't in the know. I swore I would never play that weird game and now I can't quit. Of course now I can take the skills I've learned from that game to be a part of next season's So You Think You Can Dance. And yes, I do watch that show. I love dancing! Next season I'm going to take America by storm with my skills of dancing on four arrows. Don't be jealous. I just had a funny thought. I am currently drinking Cherry Coke. Okay that's not so much funny as just a random thought of irony that popped into my head. Has anyone ever attempted to type the word popped and then realized that they typed the word pooped and then laughed like a 8 year old at the mistake? No? Just me? Okay then. Well on that weird note, I shall go. My oompa loompas are getting tired of holding my fat body up so I can type.

Oh the pressure! I read Mandy's blog and she said I was hilarious. I feel so special. Now I have to work to be hilarious so I don't disappoint anyone. I am of course just joking, I am naturally hilarious. Right now I am in Nashville visiting my sister and her husband. We spent thirty dollars on a half tank of gas which was fun. Then while at the gas station some guy came up and asked us if we had some money for gas. I don't know why he's driving around if he can't afford gas, but we gave him five bucks. It's all we had on us. I'm guessing he used that one gallon of gas he was able to purchase to drive to the next gas station down the street and ask for more money. I'm so glad I could help. After that adventure we went inside to use the bathroom and as we were washing our hands an old lady in the last stall started shouting "Hello! Hello! Is anyone in here?!" I was nervous to help her with any problem she might be having in a bathroom stall but I did reassure her that I was in there. Then she just walked out of the stall and said "Oh I thought I was stuck in there, I couldn't turn the lock. I'm okay now." Then she proceeded to wash her hands. I'm not sure what's wrong with the people in that town, but I left quickly before another strange person asked me for help. My sister gave us (by the way Ellie was with me) the wrong directions so we ended up going 40 minutes out of our way. Which is fine because it's not like gas is expensive so wasting it is not a problem. But we got here and I should probably spend time with my hosts now. I just wanted to post something because Missy accused me of being "too cooooo to write in the blog again." I don't want anyone to think that I believe myself to be too coooo, so here ya go.