Sometimes I wonder why people let me be out in public. My friend Lauren (I've mentioned her many a time before) wanted to pick up something to drink after we went to dinner last night. Well she didn't know exactly what she was in the mood for so we were walking around the store looking at the selection when we came across a bottle called Hot Sex and without thinking I say out loud, "I think I've had Hot Sex before." Then because it sounded like I was making an obvious cheesy joke I added, "buhdump bump" Which is my way of typing out the drum sound that can be heard at the end of bad jokes. Well Lauren and I thought it was funny, but everyone else looked at me like I was insane (a good call really). She eventually decided on something called Pinky or something like that. It's a Vodka drink infused with pink flavors. Pink is a flavor now, trust me. When she went up to check out, the guy looked at her and said "So your getting some Pinky are ya?" Which just sounds weird, but she said yes. He then said "It's interesting stuff, have you looked at the ingredients? They make it with rose petals and other stuff." I took this as another moment to make a stupid joke. I said, "Well that's great because I usually just eat my roses plain, so it will be nice to drink them for a change." He did not find this funny at all. In fact I'm pretty sure he thought I was being serious. He just stared at me like I was the biggest weirdo he'd ever seen (another good call). I did clarify that I was joking, but he saw no humor in it. I just slowly backed to the door and tried not to look any weirder than I already did to him. Lauren was laughing hysterically, mostly at the expression on his face, but at least she got my joke. Moral of the story: if you go out with me in public be prepared to have at least one person stare at me like he did before the night is over. Consider yourself warned.

I decided to do something really productive with my time this weekend. So I made the obvious choice and started reading The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series. Jealous? I'm only on the second book, but so far I'm hooked. I read the first book then watched the corresponding movie. Then I thought I might need to get a life, but not until I finish my books.

I got a call from Dara and Dion this weekend. That was fun because I haven't talked to them in a long time. And yes they do put me on speakerphone so they can talk to me at the same time. They're funny people. I haven't been up to visit them since June and apparently that has caused them to miss me. They asked me to move up there and live with them. Like move into their house and live in the spare bedroom. I just laughed but they were being serious. They were like "We wouldn't charge rent or anything." I think absence has caused them to have an idealized view of me. I know I'm fun to be around, but I'm not so peachy to live with. I mean, Dara should know that. I told them I would think about it though, so who knows. Well I'm off, sadly I can't stand to be away from my book too long. I lead a sad life.

The other day I found a website that asked people to finish the sentence "If I could change anything about myself, another person, or the world I live in it would be......" Some of the responses were pretty amusing so I had to share them. There were some serious ones, but where's the fun in that. Here are some of my favorites.

* i would change all the kethcup and mustard packets to mayonnaise w/ anchovie slices for a day....that would definitely freak ppl out
-p&p

*I would change dance videos. The lead singer bumps into people on the street, and they all start dancing the same moves. Maybe one person, but ten? I mean, c'mon, NO ONE knows all the steps by just being tapped by the lead singer's hips. I would have that person try to get people to dance, and those people would try to dance but end up tripping up the lead singer, so they would have to move on, leaving a big mess of twisted ankles and crying people.
-El numero cinco

Okay this one is hilarious: *If I could change anyone, I would change my ex-boyfriend. I would make him realize we're not together anymore, even though I still sleep with him and go on dates with him and hang out with him all day. Come on man, it's over.
-pookie

Is it over pookie? Is it? So funny.

* I would make all Tuesdays Topless day, unless you're ugly...cause no one wants to see that.
-Matty

Matty has high ambitions.

*I wish I was 10feet tall with red eyes and a big hairy body and I would breath Fire. Then I could run around a smash things and be like Grrrrrrrrrr roar and all the people they would be like ahhhhhh run away and I would be laughing......
-Chicken

*I wish I had a bigger pleasuring stick so women wouldn't laugh and walk away when I pull down my pants.
-Daniel

Wow. Poor Daniel.

And for the finale I found words of wisdom that every person on earth should live by......
*I would change all men who think they need a girl with giant boobs to be happy. All you need is a girl like Rachel. Perfect in every way.
-Odin the Shadow
Why thank you Odin. Quite genius. Hhmmm..Mrs. The Shadow. That has a nice ring to it.

Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said "Hey, how's it going?". So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said "Now whose asking the questions?"

This past Sunday I went to Nashville to help my sister and brother-in -law move into their new apartment. What I ended up doing was setting up all of her baby stuff. It was so cute and I decided that I need to have a baby. For those of you who just passed out let me explain. If I had a baby, then my sister's baby would have a little cousin that he could grow up with and be lifelong friends with like my sisters and I had when we were growing up. How fun would that be?!

So this whole week it has been in the 70s which is really nice, but it kind of bums me out because I am going to be heading to Illinois on Saturday and I supsect that it is not quite that warm there. Please tell me it's been sunny and warm like summer up there too. Just lie if you have to. I hate leaving this warm weather! Maybe we can all meet up while I'm in Illinois. I'll bring Poncho along. He loves to travel.