I refuse to update. Take that!

This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.

One of my friends received a Chippendales calendar for Christmas. Okay ladies, I'm taking a poll. Chippendale dancers: sexy or gay? She thinks sexy, I think gay. I was going to attach a picture of one them in case you don't know who I'm talking about, but I couldn't go through with it. Look it up on your own.

Do you remember in high school how you'd always get those forwarded surveys in your email. Your friend would send you a little "all about me" then at the end it would be like, fill this out about you and send it back to me. I used to get about three a week. I was like "I think y'all get the picture by now, sheesh." I remember once I got one that was blank and you sent it to your friends so that they had to fill it out about you. I sent one to Missy and one of the questions was "Which celebrity am I most like?" I swear to you she replied: Rosie O'Donnell. So apparently in Missy's world I'm a fat cranky lesbian. Thanks for that. Anyhoo, in the past few years I haven't seen these types of surveying emails and was greatly relieved. I thought such lameness was gone. I was wrong. Now the new the thing to do is to take the survey and put it on your blog, xanga, myspace, whatever. I've seen it popping up in alarming numbers and I say to you people. Stop, we've seen these surveys hundreds of times. It is no longer new and interesting. No more surveys. Oh well. On a completely unrelated topic someone sent me a questionnaire. It appears as if someone needs me to tell little facts about myself. Well I'm never one to let down a person in need, so here's the finished product of said questionnaire.

Three Names you go by:
1. Rachel
2. Rach
3. Rosie O'Donnell

Three Parts of Your Heritage
1. I
2. Don't
3. Know

Three Things That Scare You
1. Spiders
2. Cotton Balls
3. Vegetarians

Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Internet
2. Caffeine
3. Bubbleyum Bubblegum

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Shoes
2. Socks
3. A Smile

Three of Your Favorite Songs - at the moment
1. Dirty Little Secrets- All American Rejects
2. You're Beautiful-James Blunt
3. Blue Bayou- Roy Orbison

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. Laughter
2. Money
3. and Honey

Three PHYSICAL Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You.
1. Eyes
2. Elbows
3. and a Handlebar Mustache

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Reading
2. Doing drugs
3. Knitting sweaters for my cats

Three Things You want to do really badly right now
1. Sleep
2. Get out of the South
3. Sleep

Three Places You Want to go
1. New York City
2. Omaha
3. Disney World

Three Ways that you are stereotypically a Girl
1. I cry a lot
2. I don't know anything about cars
3. I have breasts

Three Ways that you are NOT stereotypically a Girl
1. I don't drink
2. I don't swear
3. I don't rat my hair